You know you're country when...

~you're late to work because you get stuck behind a tractor
~you know people who don't own keys to their house
~when you lock your car in a parking lot, you have people ask you if you're afraid the cows are going to steal your purse
~there are 3 hardware stores in the nearest town (20 mins. away) but the nearest Starbucks is over 2 hours away... help me!!!
~you can no longer count on one hand the number of animals you've hit with your car... thus causing your car to make an "errrrr" sound whenever you turn to the right
~you've actually heard the word, "mechanicin' " used in a sentence
Ex: "The car wasn't working yesterday, so I tried mechanicin' it."
~the moment you give someone your last name they immediately know more about your in-laws than you do
~in the breakroom at work, there are several jugs of sweet tea that are out at all times
~you're so bored you actually drive to Wal-Mart during a tornado just for something to do
~you've ever recognized yourself on Green Acres

And last of all, you know your country when... you make this list and people think your joking.


Random Text Messages

Because I went waaaaay over the limit (and fully intend to pay for it) but I thought I could at least share them.

"Dara thanks for the good night txt last night... It made me feel special...So good morning..I saw the sun rise and it made me think of you cause it was beautiful"

"YES! My family is gone and i'm free to walk around the house naked... I'm not sure why i'm telling you that... But there it is..."

"Aww isn't it beautiful.... But i honestly have to say that i like the darkness... It is my friend... And he makes me invisible..."

"Yes... I think i'm going to start a cartoon called the adventures of ben's demon possesed pants..."

"Hmm... I hadn't really thought of it... But you know... I would like you here... But that's no surprise since i'd be happy to be with you anywhere..."


If we don't stop with this Starbucks obsession, we're all going to end up like this damn squirrel!

You have been warned.


My mother and our inability to communicate without yelling at eachother

I asked my mom if she would take me to the mall to meet Shelby after work. But of course not. She yelled at me about how we're trying to conserve gas cos of the prices. The mall is only 7 miles away. I said, "Okay fine, mom. I'll just stay home for the rest of my life. I never go anywhere!"

"I don't care where you go as long as you have your own transportation. You just want us to do everything for you."

"I would have transportation IF I HAD A FREAKIN' DRIVER'S LISCENCE!"

"Oh and do you have money for a car? Of course not. Because you want to do whatever you want without having to work for it."

"I would if you'd let me get A JOB!"

"Psh, your not responsible enough for a job. So I won't allow it. But that's not my fault."

Oh. Duh. I almost forgot, cos everything is always my fault. I need out of this house before I spork my own eyes out.