wedgie-itis, cosmo, & hair dye

i think this blog

2006-07-17T14:34:00.000-05:00

is dead.

I'm lame, but are YOU?

2006-04-11T13:11:00.000-05:00

A - Available: Sure. Who's asking?
A - Age: 15.999
A - Annoyance: The price of grapes.

B - Best Buddies?: anyone lame enough to read this.
B - Bar: Not yet. But beware.
B - Birthday?: May 2nd. Its comin' up!

C - Crush: Elvis Presley's remains.
C - Car: Saturn Ion Redline? Please?
C - Cats: I like to torture them.

D - Dead Pets' Names: Molly, Bob, Bob II, Hughie, Duey, Louie, Zip.
D - Dad's Name: Kevan.
D - Dog: No. Sadness. ;(

E - Easiest person to talk to: Buddy or Celieface.
E - Eggs: Unfertilized! Yeah!
E - Email: Delicious.

F - Favorite color?: Indigo.
F - Food: Toast, apples, and pizzalicious pringles.
F - Foreign Slang: I like the term 'slag.' & 'bum'. & 'ace'.

G - Gummy Bears or Worms: Worms worms worms.
G - God: Yeah. He's pretty cool.
G - Guns: I'm working on them. 10 pound weights are slow to show results.

H - Hair Color: Brown. And boy-ishly short.
H - Height: 5'9" in my lucky clogs. 5'5" when I'm all alone and barefoot.
H - Happy: Most of the time. Except when I get ouchies.

I - Ice Cream: Mint chocolate chip.
I - Instrument: Guitar, keyboard (kinda), and a how-to guide for my ukelele.
I - Idol: Not sure. Maybe Shakira's hips.

J - Jewelry: Cheap costume type. Like at Sam Moon's.
J - Job: Hark! My quest!
J - Joke: (please see above.)

K - Kids: Small, sticky people with jam on their faces.
K - karate: Never.
K - kung fu: In secret.

L - Longest Car Ride: Anytime I'm in the car while my mom is playing "Sing-a-long Symphonies".
L - Longest Relationship: One of those "intimate" relationships? Eh, like 5 months-ish.
L - Last person talked to: My female parental unit.

M - Milk Flavor: 2%.
M - Mothers Name: Pamelaaaa.
M - Movie Last Watched: The Chronicles of Narnia.

N - Number of Siblings: 3.
N - Northern or Southern: Me gusto Texas, hombres.
N - Name: Like 'Sara' but with a 'D'.

O - One wish: Happinessss.
O - One Phobia: Big dogs.
O - Otter Pop: I've seen a dog eat one.

P - Parents, are they married or divorced: Married for 36 years.
P - Part of your appearance you like best: My eyes and neck. Yes, my neck.
P - Part of your personality you like best: I listen well. Mostly.

Q - Quote: "Silver foxes looking for romance in the chainsmoke Kansas flashdance ass pants."
Q - Quick or Slow?: Quick. (like a thief!)
Q - Quiet or Loud?: I laugh really loud.

R - Reason to smile: I've got rhythm, I've got music...!
R - Reality TV Show: Parental Control.
R - Left or right: Lefty.

S - Song Last Heard: Some Franz Ferdinand song.
S - Season: Winter. I like to wear my jackets.
S - Sex: Female. Although sometimes mistaken for 12 year-old boy.

T - Time you woke up: 9 am... I didn't bother getting out of bed 'til 9:42 though.
T - Time now: 1:25 pm.
T - Time for bed: Never!

U - Unknown fact about me: None to spare!
U - U are a... : Nice young woman who has never been OK with the whole "you" spelled as "u" thing.
U - Unicorns: Prettyyyyyy.

V - Vegetable you hate: Mushrooms and eggplant. Ew. Barfy.
V - Vegetable you love: Celery. Tomatoes. Potatoes (actually I've heard thats not really a vegetable). Ohmygodyes, CARROTS.
V - View on politics: United States of Whatever.

W - Worst Habits: Cussing, drinking, chewing the skin around my fingernails, biting the skin off my lips.
W - Where are you going traveling to next?: The fridge.
W - Where have you not been... and want to go?: Italy, New Zealand, California, New York, Europe, etc.

X - Xylophone anyone?: I used to have one! The rainbow colored ones.
X - X-tra special someones: All the someones that are still reading this.
X - X chromosome?: I guess I have two... yes? Two?

Y - Year you were born: 1990.
Y - Year it is now: 2006.
Y - Yellow?: I see you are also confused.

Z - Zoo Animal: Zeeba.
Z - Zodiac: Taurus.
Z - Zoolander: My lover.

Yay for picture blogs!

2006-04-03T18:35:00.000-05:00

I've decided to start a picture blog.

Since I have so many photos just collecting dust on my hard drive, I thought, 'what the hell! Maybe people would actually like to see some of this stuff.' So its up now. I'll probably make minor changes with the layout &whatever (with the help of my kind older sister?). New pictures every weekday, probably, as I'll be too busy having fun on the weekends. Ha.

(P.S. OMG, JULESSSSSS!!!! So glad I got to seeeeee youuuuuuu. Wuffer<3)

Ohmygiddygodstrousers, I actually DID IT!

2006-03-08T21:41:00.000-06:00

I chomped all my hair off.

Yep.

Shelby was all worried and nervous.
I wasn't.

(me = uber dork)

(I seriously couldn't stop smiling.)

(See all the hair on the floor?!)

(Ditz.)

I love it.
<3

I went to PetSmart to get fish. With gills. And FINS. Breaking news: This does NOT have fins...

2006-02-27T11:19:00.000-06:00

BEHOLD THE CUTENESS
Internet, meet Nox. She is Perfect Dog.

Aaron has been bringing up dogs a lot recently. It has something to do with having a blank yard, I'm sure. I kept putting him off. "We" weren't ready. "We" would be giving up all those uninterrupted weekend snooze-a-thons. Kibbles and bits and bites and stains and holes in the couch. When I called Aaron to ask him if I could bring home something that didn't have gills instead, he said "Yeah. I don't care. As long as I can get a Shiba now."

my depression makes me laugh

2006-02-15T13:07:00.000-06:00

Valentine's day is like Christmas.
you get all excited from all the commercials you see with all the glittery diamonds and the delicious chocolates on TV; and you think "Oh, I can't wait for Valentine's!" because you think you're going to have a picture perfect Valentine's day just like that.
And then maybe you don't. And you think "rawr! why wasn't my Valentine's day as perfect as that effing Kay jewelry TV spot?!"
its all the stupid commercialism. its sucking the soul out of the holidays.

& sometimes its not even that you didn't get anything. what if you're single? what if all you wanted for Valentine's day was someone special to be with?
i was talking to one of my guy friends yesterday. he didn't have anyone on Valentine's either.

me: "happy fucking Valentine's day. hope your's is better than mine. 'cause it would totally suck if it wasn't........... shit that sounded so lame. okay, happy Valentine's day again without the depressing undertone."
him: "its okay. here's to Valentine's day disappointment and a brighter future."
me: "woo! i'll drink to that."
him: "haha, yesterday i would have drunk to that til i passed out."
me: "ditto. eh, fuck it all. let's get drunk and pass out and totally not remember anything about yesterday."
him: "sounds like a plan."

now that i typed that all out, it looks so pathetic. but in a comical way.
hilariously pathetic. yep.

Now HERE is an exercise in futility...

2006-02-06T11:24:00.000-06:00

"Face transplant patient uses new lips to smoke again"

Scenes of Christmas

2005-12-26T10:28:00.000-06:00

"What's she doing?"

"I don't know."

"Are those vitamins?"

"Maybe... Hey Grandma, what are you leaving beside everyone's plate?"

"Beano."

The Guys' Rules

2005-12-07T21:55:00.000-06:00

Aaron said this is the relationship Bible; read it, memorize it, love it, live it.

At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down. Finally, the guys' side of the story. (I must admit, it's pretty good.) We always hear"the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules! Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don 't ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear. 1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine .Really.
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. When you ask us where we want to eat and we say "whatever", we actually MEAN "whatever". Food is food, quit trying to complicate things and say where you really want to go.
1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.
1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; but did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

And now, for your reading pleasure...

2005-12-01T18:01:00.000-06:00

Ok, so if I haven't totally cut myself off from everyone and ya'll actually read this, I would like to relay to you the story of how I nearly drowndeded our house:

Upon arrival in "the SC" (yeah, stop laughing), we discovered that our water tastes like butt. We got the obligatory tap-mounted water filter and thought we were done. Not 'zactly. Our water was yummy, but as soon as our ice started melting we tasted butt again.

So after our aimless complaints to the water gods got us no results, I set out to take matters into my own hands: obtain and install an ice-maker filtration device.

On trip #1 to Lowes, I found a small assortment of filters that were all basically the same, with the most expensive touting the best water quality (no such thing as cheap and good, right?). All of them proclaimed, "Fast, easy installation", and "All necessary parts included."

"Perfect!" I thought, "I'm 15 minutes away from muy frio delicioso". Actually, I was 15 minutes from home. When I got home I thought again, "ok, 15 minutes and it's Ice, Ice Baby!". Yeah, not so much.

First, let me clarify that the instructions were written by a completely sadistic madman, assisted by at least one imbecile ghost writer. "Let's see, list of tools required... one adjustable wrench, check, one Phillips screwdriver, check, one pair of tube cutters (for cutting copper tube), check. Ok, guess I'm all set".

In no time flat I've mounted the unit to the wall, unplugged the water line to the fridge, tightened the fittings on the filter and grabbed the cutters. "Ok, for this step I'm supposed to cut the copper line from the wall to the fridge... but my line isn't copper... it's vinyl hose. Oh well, no matter, that's probably because we're in a new house." ::Snip:: "Ok, next step. Insert the tube end into the inlet coupling on the filter. Umm, wait, this hose won't fit in there. Where's the adapter? No adapter?!"

On trip #2 to Lowes, I walked in with the whole unit and my now-severed hose. I returned the filter and explained to the clerk that, no, I didn't buy the hose from them, but it was their product that led to it's unnecessary demise, so I wanted a replacement.

Have you ever been looked at like you just said the most absurd thing in all creation?

I went to the plumbing section and explained the problem to the worker, who was as stumped as me, but determined to "help" me. I was given the same filter kit, and a brass fitting to adapt my hose to the appropriate size for the inlet coupling. "This just might work", I thought.

Call me Gulli-Bull. Yeah, when that was connected, I quickly realized that I had bypassed the fridge's water stop/start device, thereby quickly flooding the freezer unit until it began to leak out the door. I realized that I just needed to reattach the severed end of the hose, plug it back in, then cut the other hose coming from the fridge to the freezer.

Yeah, so on trip #3, I also got some extra line and a coupling just in case. ::Snip:: "Aha! Success! All lines are busy now! We're ready to get fridgerific." Rolled the fridge back to the wall and retired to the TV room.

It was about 2 hours later that I went out to put up the dogs for the night that I heard little Niagara in our kitchen. It was one of those horrific, delayed reaction, like "oh, what the H, that can't possibly be what I think it... oh, my dear LORD!" kinda things. Yep, don't ever try to repair a severed refrigerator water line. That poor brass connector that "will never come out", popped loose like a button on a fat man's pants. There was water all over the wall, cabinets, stove, floor and little old me, who was straining frantically to slide the thing out on a wet vinyl floor in bare feet. Tell you what, I'd pay to see that but right now I'm still a little miffed about it.

So trip #4 was to... guess what? BUY a replacement water hose. Got home, plugged in, left alone, no worky. Left alone more, still no worky. So what does this teach us? Four trips to Lowes is necessary for any simple project and dulls your observational skills to the point to where you FORGET TO TURN ON THE FILTER VALVE THAT YOU JUST INSTALLED!!

We're muy frio now. The ice is delicious.

It's those little things that say it all...

2005-11-30T14:14:00.000-06:00

This is not what I signed up for

2005-11-30T12:40:00.000-06:00

So my parents just finished yelling at me about my hair. Again.

They're making me dye it back or else I can't go anywhere in public
"And if it falls out; too bad."

They said they hate my hair and they hate me and they're embarrased and humiliated. And I'm dishonoring God with my freakish hair.

BULLSHIT.

My dad said, "This week its hair dye, next week its tattoos, and next week it'll be drugs. I've seen it all, Dara." [I tried to interject by asking how hair dye and drugs were related] "SHUT YOUR BIG STUPID MOUTH AND LISTEN FOR A CHANGE."

My dad really lost it. Like really lost it. Like he slammed stuff into the counter and kicked stuff and yelled so loud it made my ears hurt. And then he blamed me for making him lose his temper. And I was crying and shaking uncontrollably and he told me to "stop acting like a stupid little three year-old."

I feel like I want to die.

Yes, I admit I'm a hair dye junkie

2005-11-30T09:19:00.000-06:00

I decided I should starting asking the internet about more issues. Particularly issues in my own life. Because, yah know, the internet knows everything.

Monday I got this overwhelming urge to dye my hair an insane color. Every time we passed the hair section in the grocery store my fingers began to twitch and I started gravitating toward it. But I knew I had to get the parental units' approval or I'd be chopped liver. (And I'm not very fond of chopped liver. Ew.)

So I asked my mom in a sweet, shy voice, thinking all along she was going to say No.

"Mommy, I was wondering if maybe I could dye my hair again...?"

"What color?"

"Red and blonde streaks? I wouldn't be dying all my hair, just some of it. Please?"

"Mmm, well okay that's fine with me I suppose."

Yes! Score! Dad went to the store and so I asked him to pick up the stuff for me, which he did 'cause he CAN be nice sometimes. Although, I'd be lying if I said it was often. Its like once-in-a-blue-moon niceness.

Did I mention the red is a bright red? Like crayola crayon red? Well, yeah. It is. And I wanted it that way.
Apparently the parentals had something different in their minds. Not my fault. All I said was red. I've learned that divvying out the minor details of my life to my parents is not a good idea if I intend to live to my next birthday.

Monday night, they went to a meeting. Hmm, I think I'll do my hair right now. Can't you just hear the maniacal giggling?

This is how it turned out:

BE CAREFUL! LOOKING AT THESE IMAGES MAY BLOW YOUR EYEBALLS OUT OF THEIR SOCKETS!

Don't say I didn't warn you.

I must say it looks way better in person. Really it does.

When mom and dad got home, they homed in directly on my newly colored head.
Really, homed in is the perfect way of putting it. It was like two death missiles set to cruise their little deadly, blowing-up selves right at me.

I could see my mother's face was beginning to turn about as red as my crayola hair, while Dad seemed content in circling me, getting the whole 360 view, with nothing but a blank stare of disbelief.
Then he tries to level with me.

"What possessed you to do that to your hair?"

"Um, I just want to experiment with colors and see what looks good."

"Yah know, that's the kind of thing people say when they're doing drugs."

[PAUSE until uncontrollable laughter dies down.]

Um, sure, Dad.

So, internet, tell me your thoughts on this issue. Please tell me I'm not the only one who finds this absurdly, ridiculously hilarious.

First its red dye. What's next, you ask? MARIJUANA. Behind Walgreens. Every Friday night.

It's a wonder sometimes the poor man can still remember my name let alone ever figure out why I do anything I do

2005-11-17T11:34:00.000-06:00

"So Karina, D, and I are working on planning our annual marathon-girls-only-more-coffee-than-any-dozen-people-could-safely-consume-in-a-lifetime-Christmas shopping weekend."

"This is an annual thing?"

"Duh!"

"Since when?"

"Last year."

"But last year was the only time you've done that?"

"And your point is?"

Wherein all grown-ups are estactic to drink out of sippy cups every morning

2005-11-03T10:15:00.000-06:00

~The McCullough Daily Exchange~

"I love you and stuff."

"Well, I love you and stuff."

"You do?!"

"Yeah."

"Really?!"

"Yes, you can get more Starbucks."

Because this was too good not to share...

2005-10-06T06:31:00.000-05:00

Ok, this is long, but I think you'll both enjoy it.

Last night, being the old farts we are, we fell asleep around nine. Andy never goes to bed before midnight, nor do I when I don't have to get up for work the next morning. This is fine with me since Andy tends to wake up early if he goes to sleep early, and that usually leads to Andy getting into mischief while I'm asleep. Don't know why we fell asleep so early last night, but we did.

This morning I was awakened by Andy standing beside the bed, shaking me.
"What?"
"I'm looking for some clothes."
"It's 6:20!"
"I know."
"You woke me up on 6:20 on my day off to ask me where your clothes are?"
"No, I was looking for the flashlight so I could check the closet."
"The flashlight I sleep with on top of me??? Do you not own a robe? Go put that on." Yes, I was grumpy.

Andy wanders off, finds his robe, and leaves. I realize I'm much too awake now and get up. While I'm in the bathroom, I hear Andy come back in the bedroom. I, being the good wife I am, start grumbling again.
"I can't believe you woke me up this early on my day off."
"I'm sorry."
"What possessed you to get up at 6:20?"
"I didn't. I got up at 4am and went and painted the church baptistery."
"YOU WHAT?" I am fully awake now.
"I woke up at 3:30 and couldn't sleep. Then I thought about how I was going to do it today anyway, so I went and painted the baptistery. I got a little on me though."

I open the door and Andy wanders in the bathroom to show me how much he got on him. From the knees down, the man's legs are BLUE. Yes, you heard me right, blue. And not just a light blue, but an "I'm auditioning for a role as a Smurf and there is no doubt I will get it because that's just how blue my legs are BLUE."

"Why don't you go shower?"
"I did."
"Seriously, go wash it off."
"I did!"
I'm laughing so hard now. You can see the outline of his sandals on his feet! OH LORD! I JUST REALIZED I HAVEN'T SEEN HOW BAD HIS SHOES ARE YET!!!!

"Tell me you didn't get any on the carpet at church or when you came home."
"No, I took a shower..."
"Good."
"...I got some in the tub though. I'll bleach it later today."
!!! "What?"
"I got some in the tub, but got most of it out. I had to use your poofy purple sponge. You should probably buy a new one."

Afraid of what I'll find in the shower, I go look anyway. IT LOOKED LIKE A FREAKIN' SMURF EXPLODED IN THERE! I'm serious, if the Smurf police came by we'd totally be thrown in the slammer.

Therefore, the new rule in our household is as follows:
"Andy is no longer allowed to go to bed before midnight... ever!"

You know you're country when...

2005-09-26T20:09:00.000-05:00

~you're late to work because you get stuck behind a tractor
~you know people who don't own keys to their house
~when you lock your car in a parking lot, you have people ask you if you're afraid the cows are going to steal your purse
~there are 3 hardware stores in the nearest town (20 mins. away) but the nearest Starbucks is over 2 hours away... help me!!!
~you can no longer count on one hand the number of animals you've hit with your car... thus causing your car to make an "errrrr" sound whenever you turn to the right
~you've actually heard the word, "mechanicin' " used in a sentence
Ex: "The car wasn't working yesterday, so I tried mechanicin' it."
~the moment you give someone your last name they immediately know more about your in-laws than you do
~in the breakroom at work, there are several jugs of sweet tea that are out at all times
~you're so bored you actually drive to Wal-Mart during a tornado just for something to do
~you've ever recognized yourself on Green Acres

And last of all, you know your country when... you make this list and people think your joking.

Random Text Messages

2005-09-10T17:04:00.000-05:00

Because I went waaaaay over the limit (and fully intend to pay for it) but I thought I could at least share them.

"Dara thanks for the good night txt last night... It made me feel special...So good morning..I saw the sun rise and it made me think of you cause it was beautiful"

"YES! My family is gone and i'm free to walk around the house naked... I'm not sure why i'm telling you that... But there it is..."

"Aww isn't it beautiful.... But i honestly have to say that i like the darkness... It is my friend... And he makes me invisible..."

"Yes... I think i'm going to start a cartoon called the adventures of ben's demon possesed pants..."

"Hmm... I hadn't really thought of it... But you know... I would like you here... But that's no surprise since i'd be happy to be with you anywhere..."

If we don't stop with this Starbucks obsession, we're all going to end up like this damn squirrel!

2005-09-04T13:57:00.000-05:00

You have been warned.

http://www.friendsoffoamy.com/index.php?id=152

My mother and our inability to communicate without yelling at eachother

2005-09-03T14:25:00.000-05:00

I asked my mom if she would take me to the mall to meet Shelby after work. But of course not. She yelled at me about how we're trying to conserve gas cos of the prices. The mall is only 7 miles away. I said, "Okay fine, mom. I'll just stay home for the rest of my life. I never go anywhere!"

"I don't care where you go as long as you have your own transportation. You just want us to do everything for you."

"I would have transportation IF I HAD A FREAKIN' DRIVER'S LISCENCE!"

"Oh and do you have money for a car? Of course not. Because you want to do whatever you want without having to work for it."

"I would if you'd let me get A JOB!"

"Psh, your not responsible enough for a job. So I won't allow it. But that's not my fault."

Oh. Duh. I almost forgot, cos everything is always my fault. I need out of this house before I spork my own eyes out.

Studying

2005-08-24T13:30:00.000-05:00

Click on the title to listen to Shelby and me goofing off last night. We had alot fun!

(Actually, you might think its boring but we had a blast. So just shove it! Haha!)

Not only do we break all ten commandments, we smoke pot behind Walgreens every Friday night

2005-08-23T10:20:00.000-05:00

Shelby came over yesterday. I hadn't seen her for about a week but it seemed more equivalent to ETERNITY. Shelby makes life so much more amusing.

Shelby and I have known eachother since we were knee-high to a cosmetics counter. We are way more comfortable with eachother than any humans should be. We tell eachother things that no human in their right mind would utter to any other living thing with ears. But who ever said we were in our right minds?

So she calls me on her cell phone. "Hey, Dara. I'm on my way to your house. We can chill for awhile. But then, like, I have to, like, go work out. Urrgh." So she came in wearing a black tank top that only showed her bra straps and some glow-in-the-dark, neon green soffe's and showed me her new haircut. Then we went in the kitchen and showed my mom her new haircut. Shelby quickly tried to hide her bra straps after a couple minutes of that trying-to-hide-it-but-not-really look of disapproval from my mother. "Sorry. I'm gonna go work out in a lil bit... So...." We swiftly vacated the premises and retreated to my room.

After talking for a half-hour about her boyfriend, Derek, (who, by the way, is pretty good looking even though I've only seen one picture that isn't very good) we reminisced about the time when my mom wouldn't allow me to go up to Target with Shelby cos she was wearing a shirt that (GASP, SHOCK) showed her bra straps!!! The HORROR! And she said to Shelby that she was dressed very inappropriately and she wouldn't allow her daughter to be seen with her like that. A fucking bra strap, people! I say just show 'em. Its not like she's your mother. If she was, you probably would have killed yourself by now. I don't know why I haven't.

Then somehow we got off talking about seeing our siblings naked. (We talk about the weirdest things. One time we spent a good 20 minutes discussing pooping in public restrooms and why Shelby refuses to do so.) Shelby asked, "Have you ever seen Daniel naked?" "Um, duh. We took BATHES together 'til I was 8! Oh shit. You can't tell anyone that." "I won't. But that's so gross, Dara... I have to go pee. Come with me." Yes, I know. We are way too comfortable.

As she was leaving, she said, "Hey, I'd say bye to your mom but she can't look at me like this. I'm probably breaking one of those ten commandments somewhere in there."

I love that woman.

What kind of blogger are YOU?

2005-08-20T11:30:00.000-05:00

You Are a Snarky Blogger!

You've got a razor sharp wit that bloggers are secretly scared of.
And that's why they read your posts as often as they can!

What kind of blogger are you?

Aren't I so cool and snarky? Hehe! Notice the anime picture with the cool rubbery black tights and tube-top. Snarky bloggers are sexxxy.

What I Learned This Summer

2005-08-05T08:40:00.000-05:00

I feel it necessary to lay out what I have learned from my own and other people's experiences this past season.

People disappoint. Always. No matter what. They will always let you down. To some extent, at least. Its either people are disappointing or I have put way too much faith in them. So then it would be my fault. Which it isn't because I have no say in what other people choose to do with their lives.

Sulky-faced boys will confuse you to no end and eventually disappoint you. Even if they don't mean to. Or maybe that was their very intention. You can never win with said sulky-faced boys. Because sulky-faced boys are quiet and...well, sulky.

Its not my fault if people so desire to ruin their lives no matter how many times you pound into their skull that they are going the wrong way. If they don't want to listen, that is their problem. Not mine. I used to think it was. Life is so much easier now that it isn't.

I had a dream the other night. I dreamed I could control bodies of water and nobody knew it but me. And I discovered that somehow I had caused that big tsunami and all those hurricanes we've been having. So I told someone. And they started screaming, "ITS ALL YOUR FAULT! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!?!"
And then I woke up.

But the tsunami isn't my fault.

People are going to do whatever they feel like doing no matter how blue in the face you get trying to tell them not to.

People are stupid.

WARNING: Do not read while eating Raspberry yogurt

2005-07-18T14:11:00.000-05:00

Mr. Nice Guy - http://bonnehomme.blogspot.com/

Seriously... almost just had raspberry yogurt coming out my nose. Don't know if it's all these damn hormones I'm having right now or if the site really is that funny, but I am laughing so hard I can't breathe!