SISTERS IN CRIME

10.06.2005

Because this was too good not to share...

Ok, this is long, but I think you'll both enjoy it.

Last night, being the old farts we are, we fell asleep around nine. Andy never goes to bed before midnight, nor do I when I don't have to get up for work the next morning. This is fine with me since Andy tends to wake up early if he goes to sleep early, and that usually leads to Andy getting into mischief while I'm asleep. Don't know why we fell asleep so early last night, but we did.

This morning I was awakened by Andy standing beside the bed, shaking me.
"What?"
"I'm looking for some clothes."
"It's 6:20!"
"I know."
"You woke me up on 6:20 on my day off to ask me where your clothes are?"
"No, I was looking for the flashlight so I could check the closet."
"The flashlight I sleep with on top of me??? Do you not own a robe? Go put that on." Yes, I was grumpy.

Andy wanders off, finds his robe, and leaves. I realize I'm much too awake now and get up. While I'm in the bathroom, I hear Andy come back in the bedroom. I, being the good wife I am, start grumbling again.
"I can't believe you woke me up this early on my day off."
"I'm sorry."
"What possessed you to get up at 6:20?"
"I didn't. I got up at 4am and went and painted the church baptistery."
"YOU WHAT?" I am fully awake now.
"I woke up at 3:30 and couldn't sleep. Then I thought about how I was going to do it today anyway, so I went and painted the baptistery. I got a little on me though."

I open the door and Andy wanders in the bathroom to show me how much he got on him. From the knees down, the man's legs are BLUE. Yes, you heard me right, blue. And not just a light blue, but an "I'm auditioning for a role as a Smurf and there is no doubt I will get it because that's just how blue my legs are BLUE."

"Why don't you go shower?"
"I did."
"Seriously, go wash it off."
"I did!"
I'm laughing so hard now. You can see the outline of his sandals on his feet! OH LORD! I JUST REALIZED I HAVEN'T SEEN HOW BAD HIS SHOES ARE YET!!!!

"Tell me you didn't get any on the carpet at church or when you came home."
"No, I took a shower..."
"Good."
"...I got some in the tub though. I'll bleach it later today."
!!! "What?"
"I got some in the tub, but got most of it out. I had to use your poofy purple sponge. You should probably buy a new one."

Afraid of what I'll find in the shower, I go look anyway. IT LOOKED LIKE A FREAKIN' SMURF EXPLODED IN THERE! I'm serious, if the Smurf police came by we'd totally be thrown in the slammer.

Therefore, the new rule in our household is as follows:
"Andy is no longer allowed to go to bed before midnight... ever!"

1 Comments:

Blogger Dara said...

OH MY GAWD, JULES!!!

That's so hilarious. I couldn't stop laughing for like a whole 2 minutes!!

Glad life has been amusing. ;)

(Life meaning your hubby. Haha.)

12:12 PM

 

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